Japan: The Backup Plan

Heyo~! I apologize for the lack of vlogs these days, the weather has been pretty rainy so I haven't dared to bring my camera out of my apartment. 

I'll most likely make a sort of compliation-type video of places I've seen, things I ate, etc!

This post is going to be about the plan that I've devised regarding the rest of my study abroad. 

As you've most likely read, I've been super depressed living here pretty much since my arrival. I've tried my hardest to like it here and make the best of my situation, but I don't really feel like Japan is the place for me right now. That being said, I'm not the kind of person that quits something without seeing it through to the end. I came up with a plan that gives me time to decide how I feel about staying here.

I'm going to stay until December, and then I'll decide how I'm feeling. If I'm still unhappy, I'll go back to my home university and start classes there like a normal American college student. While I'm in Japan I'm going to sign up for Spring 2018 classes and a dorm, just in case I feel like I want to go home. If December rolls around and I'm feeling comfortable, I'll simply cancel those classes and continue here as planned!

I can't predict how I'll feel in December, but going out and trying to make more friends has really helped cure my loneliness, which was a huge factor in why I was considering leaving. Some other reasons include not liking my classes too much and ultimately feeling like I don't "fit" here. I will say that some of those feelings have gone away, but what one has to remember is that I was never meant to truly 'assimilate' here, and trying to hold yourself to the standard of a typical Japanese person is trying to reach an unattainable goal.

The fact of the matter is that I will never be Japanese, I will never know all the unwritten rules of Japan, and frankly: no one expects me to. 

Being here is a huge learning experience, and while that's overwhelming at times, I need to acquire tools to deal with these frustrating times. That's hopefully what these next two months will give me.

I'm being positive in this post, but these issues have weighed me down heavily throughout the past month. Going out with friends, allowing myself to enjoy moments I'd usually worry about, and going to therapy is helping me get through both the good and bad times.

As for my recent whereabouts and lack of photos, I can explain! I recently got into disposable cameras. I'm going to go get my photos developed at a local store sometime next week, and then hopefully I can scan them somehow and post them here! 

I'll make a little 'End of October photospam' post most likely~ Thank you for sticking around on my little blog, even when I have no writing inspiration!

My next post will be in both Japanese and English (I'll do my best to not make too many mistakes), and in it I'll speak about some of my classes at Waseda, some international resources Waseda has and my experience with therapy here in Japan!

Thanks for reading~